By Melissa Partl, LCSW, School-Based Therapist, Christian Family Solutions
Anxiety is an emotion. So the short answer unfortunately is, “Sorry! Just like other emotions, you will experience anxiety throughout your life.”
But just like every other emotion you experience, the important thing is what you do with that emotion. Emotions are important, but they aren’t everything. They are not your voice of reason, they are not your guide, and they don’t make your decisions. You make your decisions. You decide how you want to navigate your life.
Don’t get me wrong – don’t ignore how you feel. Treat your anxiety and other emotions with respect and hospitality. Say to your anxiety, “Oh hi there little visitor, what would you like to say? Thanks for visiting, but I can’t hang out long.” And then make your next best decision. Fall back on your values. Is your next best choice in alignment with what you value? Does it honor God? If so, go for it and move on!
Something we teach in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is “wise mind”. Our wise mind is our emotions and logic working together to create wisdom. This is what I’m talking about. Feel what you feel, and also rely on logic and reason to make the next best move.
Jerry Bridges wrote a book called Respectable Sins. In this book he discusses anxiety. I quote his encouragement here: “When you or I say to someone, ‘Don’t be anxious’ or ‘Don’t be afraid,’ we are simply trying to encourage the person or admonish in a helpful way. But when Jesus says to us, ‘Don’t be anxious’ it has the force of a moral command. In other words, it is the moral will of God that we not be anxious…The basis of our casting our anxieties on God is that He cares for us. So when I give way to anxiety, I am, in effect, believing that God does not care for me and that He will not take care of me in the particular circumstance that triggers my anxiety of the moment.”
He goes on further to share, “Will I succumb to the temptation of anxiety, or will I believe that God is in sovereign control and accept His agenda, whatever that may be?…Ask God to give you faith to believe that His providential will for you in these circumstances comes to you from His infinite wisdom and goodness and is ultimately intended for your good. Then ask God to give you a heart that is submissive to His providential will when it is contrary to your own plans”.
I am encouraged by this because it helps me see how Jesus knew we would need to be reminded to not be anxious. There will be trouble in this life, but praise God that He gives you help! Trust God’s promises, and know He’s working for your good. This is the wisdom you can carry with you during your anxious and troubling circumstances.
These answers aren’t comprehensive … They are a start. If you or someone you know needs counseling please call Christian Family Solutions Counseling Care & Services at 800-438-1772.
If you are experiencing a health emergency of any kind, please dial 911.
If you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who is, call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
