“What happens when the connection that we have with a loved one turns out to be harmful?”

Pastor James Mattek served as Director of Ministry at Christian Family Solutions for 20 years. During that time, many of his weekends were spent guest preaching and leading Bible studies at congregations across the country. He had the opportunity to share the healing power of the Gospel and shed light on many troubling mental health challenges. Among the many memories from his ministry, this story is a moment that stands out for Pastor Mattek.

You’re likely familiar with the expression: “The eyes are the window to the soul”. When the world was thrust into the throws of COVID, this phrase rang especially true. With our eyes being the only things visible behind our masks, it was one of the only ways we were able to connect with one another. If there is one thing that the pandemic taught us, it is the importance of human connection. So what happens when the connections that we have with our loved ones turn out to be harmful?

While guest-preaching at a church during the pandemic, Pastor Mattek was approached by a woman wearing a mask whose eyes were red from crying, and her cheeks were streaked black from running mascara. The woman, Sarah*, asked Pastor Mattek if they could speak in private.

Even from behind her mask, her emotions were so clear to see as she told her story. “I was either going to kill myself or kill my husband. Thank you for the help of your counselors. We are both alive, and not together. We never should have been together. But we’re able to live, and I’m able to stay close to my Savior without being abused by my husband every week.”

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women experiences some sort of physical violence by an intimate partner. These statistics reveal an incredibly ugly truth about our world today. When those who are closest to us hurt us the most, who are we supposed to turn to? When Sarah reached out to the counselors at Christian Family Solutions, she received more help than she could have imagined. With the help of CFS, Sarah was able to find the strength to leave her abusive marriage, and most importantly, come even closer to her Savior.

With the help of licensed professional counselors and the healing power of the Gospel, those who seek treatment at Christian Family Solutions find clarity. This clarity gives them the tools to form healthy connections and strengthen the most important connection of all: their connection with their Savior.

If you’re someone who wants to better understand how to support a friend, loved one, or church member who may be in an abusive relationship, we invite you to explore our free, self-guided online course:

A Domestic Abuse Primer

This resource, created in partnership with a pastor and a CFS Christian counseling professional, helps you:

• Understand the dynamics and effects of domestic abuse
• Recognize red flags and harmful patterns
• Learn how to respond with empathy, while prioritizing safety and support

Whether you’re a pastor, a friend, or a concerned supporter, this course will equip you to reflect Christ’s love to those in difficult and dangerous situations.

Start today and become part of a compassionate community working toward healing and hope.

Everyone deserves relationships free from domestic violence. If you or someone you know is being abused, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233