By Aaron Schaper, LPCC
What a thoughtful question! It shows that you care about other people and don’t want to take something away from someone else. That says a lot about your heart.
This can be a great opportunity to offer some of that same kindness and compassion to yourself!
Anxiety can be tricky. Sometimes we feel like we can “just squeak by” for a while. We get the grades. We show up. We smile. From the outside, everything looks fine. But constantly feeling anxious isn’t sustainable or healthy. Over time, we can get used to feeling tense or worried all the time, something called becoming desensitized to stress. That doesn’t mean it’s normal or good for you. It just means your body has adapted.
Even if you’re functioning well, your body and brain are still carrying that stress. When we don’t deal with it in healthy ways, it often shows up somewhere else, like irritability, exhaustion, shutting down, or unhealthy habits. In turn, these behaviors can hurt your relationships with others and affect your long-term mental, physical, and spiritual health. But seeking help and learning safe, healthy coping skills makes it more likely you’ll remember and use them when anxiety is triggered. They can help keep stress more manageable, preventing more serious problems in the future.
Let me ask you this. If a friend came to you with the same questions, what would you say? You’d probably tell them they deserve help. You wouldn’t rank their anxiety against someone else’s. You’d care about how they’re feeling.
Mental health isn’t a competition. Someone else needing help doesn’t mean you don’t.
People with big hearts often take care of everyone else first. But that can lead to burnout and empathy fatigue. Taking care of your own well-being doesn’t make you selfish. It can actually make you a stronger support for others. Think of it like this: if a mechanic’s tools aren’t working properly, the repair job won’t go well. Your brain is one of your most important tools. If you’re drained, anxious, or overwhelmed, it’s harder to show up the way you want to for others.
If you feel like you have to “have it all together” on the outside but are barely holding on inside, reaching out to a trusted adult or counselor is an act of strength. It can even give others permission to do the same. That’s called normalizing something, making it feel doable and okay.
Everyone’s batteries get drained. That’s part of being human. Learning how to recharge in healthy ways allows you to put your best self forward, even if it takes time.
Having a variety of coping skills (or tools in our toolbox) also builds confidence. Stress isn’t an “if.” It’s a “when.” God gives us different tools, including people, rest, prayer, meditation, exercise, deep breathing, journaling, and other practical strategies. Some tools work in certain situations and not others. Listening to music might help at home, but probably won’t work in the middle of math class. Identifying and understanding these tools will help you feel more prepared to handle whatever comes your way.
Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens.” That means we are called to help others, but it also means we can let others help carry us. Even Jesus stepped away to rest and pray (Luke 5:16), modeling healthy coping skills. Seeking help is acknowledging the support God designed us to have.
So no, it is not wrong to seek help. You don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart. You can reach out for support simply because you want to feel better, so you can continue to show up for others and live with a healthy mind, body, and spirit.
Aaron is one of the counselors who works closely with teens in the CFS Online Day Treatment for Teens Program. Click here to learn more about this program.
These answers aren’t comprehensive … They are a start. If you or someone you know needs counseling please call Christian Family Solutions Counseling Care & Services at 800-438-1772.
If you are experiencing a health emergency of any kind, please dial 911.
If you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who is, call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
