by Katie Chavez, LPC-IT
This article was originally published in the July 2025 issue of Forward in Christ.
As parents, we do everything we can to protect our children. We follow closely behind when they climb on the playground and awkwardly run beside them as they practice riding a bicycle without training wheels. We meet their friends and their parents to make sure they are surrounded by positive influences. But what happens when our children experience danger that can no longer be monitored with our five senses? What if the danger resides in themselves? What do you do when they're struggling with suicidal thoughts?
At different times in their lives, our children may be fighting a battle internally that we cannot see. There has been a resounding question, rooted in fear, that has been asked of me more and more often in recent years. How do I help a child who is having suicidal thoughts? It’s a valid question because these thoughts happen often in adolescents. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide is the second leading cause of death among adolescents and young adults. That statistic has been consistent for decades.
Cognitive Distortions
We all have cognitive distortions—thought patterns that are emotionally based that alter the way in which we interact with the world around us. A simple example of a cognitive distortion is thinking that a friend is upset with you when he or she does not respond to a text in a way that you expected. But yet when you talk with your friend you realize his or her experience of that interaction was the opposite of yours. Your friend is not upset with you and did not even realize that you would have any reason to worry that he or she would be! Your thoughts played a trick on you. They convinced you that your reality was different than it really was.
Cognitive distortions can be dangerous because they change the way we see the world and the people around us. If our children lack the tools to identify and challenge those thoughts, their emotions can quickly spiral out of control. (See the end of this article for some additional information and worksheets on cognitive distortions.)
Most suicidal ideation is rooted in cognitive distortions. The world is not seen exactly as it matches up in reality. This can intensify the emotional response and lead to a sense of hopelessness and despair. Evidence shows that individuals who attempt or complete suicide see it as their only solution in a world where there is no hope.
Can you see why the final part of that sentence is distorted? Our faith proves that the idea of a world without hope is false. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Peter 1:3, emphasis added). It’s easy to remember the hope we find in Jesus when we are thinking clearly and feeling good, but can you remember a time when it was not so easy for you to recall this in a moment of trial or tribulation? I bet you can go back to that moment and identify a distorted thought that was present.
The world is scary, and as parents we want to do everything in our power to protect our children. In times of uncertainty, lean into God’s promise and reassurance that he is present at all times for our children. He will protect them far beyond our ability.
Fight suicidal thoughts! Here are some resources to help with cognitive distortions.
- For elementary and middle school: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/cbt-thinking-errors
- For adolescents and adults: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/cognitive-distortions
- Challenging thoughts: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/challenging-negative-thoughts
- Reframing thoughts: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/automatic-thoughts
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