Cultivating kindness – teaching children to care for others

by Rachel Binczak, CSW, CTRS-E, School-based Wellness Specialist
This article is also available as a printable handout here.

Parents often express the desire for their children to grow up to be compassionate individuals who demonstrate kindness in their homes and communities. A common question they ask our counselors is, “What steps can I take to help my children treat others with kindness?” Here are three practical suggestions.

1. Help Children Grow in Faith

Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit, as outlined in Galatians 5:22-23. These fruits grow in individuals as their faith and trust in God deepen. Understanding the kindness God has shown by sending Jesus to free humanity from sin provides the foundation for extending kindness to others.

To foster spiritual growth in children, parents can integrate faith-building activities into their daily lives. Encouraging children to attend worship services, participate in youth activities at church, and engage in regular family devotions can be effective ways to nurture their faith. Praying together and discussing Jesus during everyday moments also contribute to their spiritual development. As children’s faith matures, so does their capacity to show kindness.

2. Foster Empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is closely tied to kindness. For younger children, empathy can be cultivated through storytelling. Reading books together and discussing how the characters might feel in various situations helps develop their emotional understanding.

For older children, having open conversations about their own emotions and encouraging them to think about how they might feel in others' shoes—whether it is a joyful moment or a challenging one—builds their ability to connect with others and respond with compassion.

3. Model Kindness

Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. Parents have the unique honor and responsibility of modeling kindness in daily interactions. How parents treat their children, the other parent, and those in positions of authority sets an example that shapes how children will treat others.

Demonstrating kindness in small, intentional ways, such as offering words of encouragement, showing patience, and expressing gratitude, helps children understand how to live out kindness in their own relationships. By observing these actions, children learn to emulate them in their own lives.

Be Patient and Persistent

Teaching kindness is not an overnight process. Children will stumble and show moments of selfishness or impatience. In those moments, it is helpful to remember that character development takes time. Continued guidance, correction, and encouragement are essential in fostering kindness.

Galatians 6:9 states, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” This verse reassures us that the time and effort invested in teaching kindness will yield results in due season.

By rooting kindness in faith, fostering empathy, and modeling compassionate behavior, parents can guide children toward a life of caring for others. They will learn to shine Jesus' light in the world, reflecting his love and kindness to everyone they meet.